Counsel of the Night

The M2 motorway was its usual frantic pace that morning… Cars backed up like dominos too closely together. Drivers with dead-pan faces staring at the bumper bar in front of them. I smiled at the queues, feeling slight twinges of guilt at my smugness as I sped freely in the opposite direction. It was a 45 minute trip from inner Sydney to the outer western suburbs but I didn't mind. Driving to work gave me time to prepare myself for the day. It was the beginning of a new year and I had much to think about.

Your job is about to change. I said it to myself over and over, processing it like a slow eater trying to savour the food before swallowing it. I had been working as the Academic Dean at a ministry training college for nearly four years. Weekly lectures, course design, assessment standards and myriads of paperwork consumed my days. It was hard to imagine anything different. The race had been on to keep up with the burgeoning student numbers and I had loved the challenge. But lately things were settling around me and I could feel the itch of change.

My mind replayed the short but vivid dream I had just after Christmas. I had seen myself travelling on a train. I had fallen asleep and when I woke up, I was on a bus. We had changed vehicles.

I knew the dream was from God. It had that clarity and distinctiveness peculiar to God-given dreams. Vehicles move you along; they help you progress and often represent careers or ministries in dreams. There was a change from a train to a bus. Realisation dawned in the light of the morning. My job was about to change.

The Ultimate Counsellor
Some days it feels like we are the proud masters of our destiny. We take out insurance policies, invest in superannuation and carefully research our decisions in order to control risk and protect ourselves. But the next day we are struck by the woeful limitations of our humanity. In an instant our job changes, a relationship fractures or the stockmarket plummets, and we are struck again by the extraordinary unpredictability of our lives.

God stands outside of universes and timezones yet he is able to zoom in on our own private worlds with all its odd frustrations and struggles. He knows what will be, what cannot be and what needs to be. He sees the end from the beginning (Isaiah 46:10) – our yesterdays and tomorrows, yet somehow in the deep vaults of his knowledge, he knows the quirkiness of my personality, the hidden longings of my heart and the number of hairs on my head (Luke 12:7).

In the midst of unpredictability, God longs to speak into our situations with a voice of constancy and wisdom. The Holy Spirit is described as a counselor (John 16:7). Like the scene depicted in the ancient Garden, he wants to walk alongside us and talk to us in the cool of our days (Genesis 3:8). He is like a best friend, yet so different to your best friend. One word from God can instantly bring clarity and calm to any situation.

Perhaps we underestimate how much he cares about our problems – so large in our eyes, so minute in his. Is that why we don’t always invite him in? The letter of James says we don’t have wisdom because we doubt he will give it (James 1:5-7).

God is concerned with the intimate details of our lives. He loves us that much. We just need to ask. And when we have asked, we need to listen for his answer. He speaks in surprising ways.

The Vehicle Changes
It took little time to find a car-park that morning; most staff were still on holidays. In my office were remnants of the previous year; a few stray assignments, old timetables and forms. I checked my diary. College was out for two more weeks. I loved this time of the year: plenty of time for catch-up coffees and planning. My day was a quiet one: meeting-free apart from an appointment with my boss at 4pm.

Later that day my boss and I met in his office. We sat at his oval desk and chatted about the holidays. Eventually the conversation turned to plans for the New Year. As part of our ongoing development, we were restructuring the College. Then the announcement: My job needed to change. I listened silently, looking into my coffee cup; finally digesting the information that I had been chewing on the previous few days. We discussed a few details and eventually he stood, signalling the meeting was over. He looked into the air for a moment and then made his concluding statement; “You know; it's like we're been on a train, but now we've changed vehicles!”

My job change was effected immediately and marked the beginning of a larger shift for my ministry. But through all the transition and upheaval that followed, there was no doubt that God's hand was guiding and directing my life. His voice had prepared me with peace and understanding no earthly counsellor could give.

But which of them has stood in the council of the Lord to see or hear his word?

(Jeremiah 23:18)

Home of My Dreams

A Miracle Home
There is a story I love to tell. It began in the middle of the night a few years ago. In a dream I saw myself being shown around a grand and spacious house. The scenes were vivid – a wide entrance hallway lined with shiny marble tiles, imposing white columns and classy French windows… I didn’t realize it at first, but God was showing me my new home.

A month later that strange vision spectacularly and unexpectedly manifested into reality. I was being shown around a home and it was just as I had seen – better still, it came with a gardener, ‘pool boy’; even a red Ferrari in the garage! No, I wasn’t able to drive the Ferrari, but I could live there rent-free; all expenses paid for over a year while the owners were overseas on business. I moved in immediately breathless with gratitude.

In the early mornings I would sit at the breakfast table coffee in hand, gazing out the window to the swimming pool and tennis court. With worship music playing loudly, I would ponder the God who fulfils the desires of our hearts (Psalm 37:4). I would marvel in awe at his miraculous provision and relish the sense of being loved by a father who delights in giving his children good gifts (Matthew 7:11).

In fact I would often quote those Bible verses when sharing the story with others. People loved hearing it.

But there is another story. Not one I have told as frequently and perhaps not with the same captive audience. A similar story yet different.

Another Dream Home
It happened a few years later. Our rented home was being sold and my flat-mate was moving interstate. Once again I found myself uprooted and disoriented with those familiar feelings of insecurity returning like an unwanted guest. Not only that, it was right in the midst of an overcrowded rental market and my income was unreliable and tenuous. How would I find a home?

I shared my dilemma with a friend over and she kindly offered me a place to stay for a few weeks. I was thankful for the safety valve while I looked for somewhere to live. Where would it be? Trudy lived on the edge of notorious Kings Cross where the streets are crowded with a gritty, noisy mix of the homeless and trendy and where every night is party night. Far from the quiet leafy upper-class suburbs I was used to on the other side of ‘The Bridge’.

After our coffee together at a local café we wandered through her flat. Her home was a typical inner Sydney terrace; one of many squeezed tightly between rows of seventies apartment blocks and quaint art-deco buildings. It was simply furnished with a compact kitchen and single bathroom coming off a long dark hallway. Through the kitchen at the back of the house was a small room used as a study area.

It was the back room that caught my eye. I stopped; struck by a vague memory. As I looked at the tiny alcove with its brown laminate cabinet and uncluttered bookshelf, familiar images from another dream crystallized before me.

I hurried home to check the words which had been carefully transcribed in my journal over twelve months earlier: “I saw you living in a tiny room like an alcove opening onto a kitchen. It had a plain wooden bookshelf. Like a student’s room.”

But this home was so different to the other one. Could this be from God?

It was pouring rain the day I moved in. I edged my car into a tight spot in the darkened alleyway careful not to disturb the woman crouched over on the edge of the gutter. A flurry of cooing pigeons landed in the tree above and released a spray of white and yellow liquid that narrowly missed me as I emerged from my newly polished car. The lady in the gutter barely looked up as I struggled to cradle the pile of cardboard boxes in my arm; my jewelled sandals slipping on the slimy concrete.

That night as I settled onto the thin foam mattress which almost covered the entire floor of the study, I tried to force the image of my old bedroom with its queen size bed and expansive built-in robes from my mind. My clothes now hung on a plastic wheelie rack in the corner; the rest stashed in boxes over three locations in Sydney. I tried not to think of the tranquil view of Middle Harbour from the balcony where we sat the night before or the white marble double bathroom that I once had all to my own. And when I woke up next morning to the raw screeching of a domestic argument echoing through the back laneway, I tried to forget the sweet twitter of birds that used to signal my mornings.

The God of Mansions and Mattresses
God does not always give us what we want. Have you ever noticed that? The God of Good Gifts sometimes allows long periods of unemployment, extended times of loneliness; worrying financial pressures and seasons of mattresses on the floor. Times when the luxuries of life are more of a memory than a reality.

Through his high and lows, the Apostle Paul learned a great truth. He called it a secret; a life transforming principle that enabled him to be content with both abundance and shortage.

Paul learned that God provides all our needs and gives strength in every situation, whether we have much or whether we have little (Phil. 4:13,19). It is in the midst of want, we learn the secret that he is all we need. We learn the grace and discipline of thankfulness that comes from him alone. We learn to trust in a Father who loves us consistently and completely whether he gives us gifts or not. He is the God who provides both mansions and mattresses on the floor.

I love the fact that Paul learned… Perhaps it took a few experiences and a bit of time to fully grasp this great truth.

Nowadays I have come to appreciate my new home and the raw edginess of city-life; I’ve become accustomed to wearing earplugs each night and have found a place to park my car where frangipani flowers rather than pigeon droppings fall. But mostly I am learning the great secret of contentment. His provision is always sufficient even when it comes packaged in unusual ways. Whether in places of grandeur or simplicity, He is all we need.

Into the Fear Zone

The bags were stuffed full ready for an obscene five o’clock start next morning. I fidgeted with the zip, checked and re-checked my list. I was nervous. Six days of hiking with a 15kg pack in the wilds of Kosciusko National Park. It had been nearly 20 years since I had braved the camping scene. Would I be able to cope without my Blackberry and coffee-maker? What if my lower back gave way in front of everyone? Most importantly, could I handle squatting behind the gumtrees?

You know it well. The dubious feeling in your stomach; the disastrous scenarios created in your mind… that overwhelming pull to be anywhere else but where you’re supposed to be. Whether it’s starting a new job, learning a new skill or just embarking on a hiking trip into the Australian bush, our fears have the uncanny power to pull us out at the last minute with a rush of magical excuses. How much easier it is to stay in your ‘zone’ – the place where moments are predictable and there are no what ifs.

New experiences have an irresistible air of excitement to them. But they also strip you of the familiar and expose you again to the raw material of who you are. Without the security of your known abilities, your tried and tested roles or the comfortable rhythm of your regular environment, you are forced to find yourself again.

When We Step Out
One component of my ministry is to teach seminars on how to hear God’s voice. I love my job – and to be honest, I don’t find it difficult. I have been in fulltime ministry for fifteen years and the church-world is second nature to me. I think and speak Christianese fluently. I know the worship songs word for word. I can kick into the lingo of all the different denominations in a flash.

But recently I decided to take my seminar into the secular world. In a way it was an experiment. Increasingly people are seeking God outside the confines of traditional church. Could I help them find Him in a local community college?

I haven’t been that scared in a long time. Facing that motley group of spiritual seekers was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Would the trainee psychologist who had an answer for everything show me up with his font of knowledge? Would the ex-Mormon who mythologised the supernatural and was well versed in the liberal theology of Bishop Spong ask me a question I couldn’t answer? Or the lapsed-Catholic who now attended a spiritualist church challenge me with experiences I couldn’t explain?

Too late now. I was forced to plunge straight into it; to ignore my fears and do it anyway. Trust God and do it afraid. I was on my toes the whole day and arrived home totally spent.

That experience no longer scares me now. I discovered I could do it. In the midst of it I worked out what to say and if I didn’t know what to say, it didn’t matter. And when the grey-haired lady in the purple and blue silk dress who had played organ as a young woman but had left church disillusioned twenty years earlier commented afterwards; “Now I realise God is alive after all”, my original fears seemed irrelevant and not worthy of any recognition at all.

God’s Call to the Unknown
Following God means we constantly find ourselves in the fear zone. The Holy Spirit seems to delight in leading us to places we have never gone before (Josh. 3:3,4). His knowledge of our innate potential causes him to urge, beckon and even push us beyond the boundaries of safety and into a position of trust. In the fear zone, we meet ourselves and God in a new way.

I think of my mum who bravely learnt to swim at age 63 when she couldn’t even put her head under water, a friend who left the airport terrified and trusting as she flew out to carve out a new market in India for her company, my trainee student who overcomes her shyness greeting new people in the church foyer every week. Confronting their fears and doing it anyway.

I am not sure the feelings ever go away. Growing in God means we will find ourselves in a never-ending cycle of facing fear and finding faith.

Out of the Fear Zone
It was the final morning of our hike. The tents were being rolled up for the last time. There was dirt deeply embedded under my fingernails and I had blood blisters on both my big toes. But during the 50 km trek, we had heard the brumbies gathering near our camp at moonlight, canoed in a sun shower on the lake and retraced history on the steps of the famous Hume-Hovell track. As I sat there in the misty dawn breakfasting by a cowpat and brushing away the bullants gathering at my feet, I realized how unafraid I was. A lot had happened in a week. I still craved a hot shower but the reward was overwhelmingly worth it.

Louis Vuitton Promises

A few years ago I had a series of God-dreams that funnily enough featured suitcases. I was travelling on different vehicles carrying my suitcases and God began to speak to me again about my future…

In suitcases we carry all our personal belongings and the things we need on life’s journey. God showed me that the suitcases represented the promises and plans he had for my life. In the dream he was giving me luxury designer suitcases. The very best; custom-made plans… The Louis Vuitton of promises! For those who are uninitiated in the fashion world, Louis Vuitton makes suitcases that are the top of the range and they are very, very expensive!*

2008 has been a bit of a Louis Vuitton year for me. Promises that I have carried in my heart for a very long time are starting to coming to pass and it has been amazing to watch. After farewelling a wonderful five-year-long season at Hillsong College, my ministry Awaken Your Dreams was birthed at the beginning of the year. We celebrated with a group of close friends and supporters at a launch party hosted by the newly formed AYD Board.

The year kicked off with a Young Adults camp by the beach with Bayside Church in Victoria. Feedback was encouraging as so many commented that they understood clearly how to hear the ‘sounds of God’ often for the first time. It was also wonderful to be able to minister across denominations during the year with the first of my seminars; The Other Side of the Conversation given at Grace Church (Church of Christ) in Nunawading, Melbourne.

The Awaken Your Dreams seminar was fully developed this year. As a half day workshop, it gives a biblical basis for hearing the voice of God through dreams and visions as well as guidelines for discernment and interpreting symbolic messages. One person asked, If God spoke so often to people in dreams in the Bible, how come I have never heard this before? Great question! We are missing out on one of God’s most powerful and creative methods of communication. He still speaks in dreams today. Within days of the seminar, I heard from three different attendees that they had just experienced supernatural dreams.

Of course the highlight of the year was my first overseas trip to Germany and Switzerland where I spoke in five different churches teaching seminars and preaching. I was doing my all-time favourite things - speaking on the topic I love and hiking in the Swiss Alps in between! It was a truly custom-made experience designed for me - the very best God gives.

When I was 21 years old, I prayed a radical prayer giving my life completely to God. At the time I feared that if I gave him everything, I would somehow lose out. My life would be a disappointment. How wrong I was! How unfounded my fears... God is a Louis Vuitton God. He gives the best. He already gave his best at Christmas time two thousand years ago. How will he not graciously give us all things? (Romans 8:32)

Thank you so much for all your love and support and friendship this year which means so much. May you know his very best this Christmas!

He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all – how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things (Romans 8:32).

*This message is abridged from a new CD series to be released early in 2009.

In the Heart of Switzerland

During a seminar, Michael shared a dream he had. He was walking inside a grand cathedral. In the shadows at the side was a confessional. There he looked up and saw a beautiful woman hanging on a cross. The image became imprinted firmly in his mind as the dream ended.

He explained to me that at the time he had fallen madly in love with a girl. The dream revealed what he was slowly becoming aware of. His girlfriend had taken the place of Jesus in his heart.

The Jewish Talmud says that; An uninterpreted dream is like a letter unopened. God may be speaking to us, but we do not recognise it. Maybe it is because we do not know how he speaks, or perhaps it is because we are just not listening. The "Other Side of the Conversation" seminar aims to help people hear the voice of God and understand what he is saying.

It is wonderful to hear the testimonies of people as they learn more of God's desire to speak personally to them. God longs to speak into the very depths of our hearts and he is a masterful communicator!

In Switzerland I have been graciously hosted by Barbara Wyss, one of our Hillsong College graduates. She has worked tirelessly to build a church in her home village. While quaint church steeples prominently mark most village skylines, sadly not so many are filled with thriving congregations. Kirchberg is an exception! They have been welcoming and open - even as they listen to an Aussie preacher for the first time.

Along with Barbara, a number of other swiss graduates have taken the input and training they received in Sydney and are serving in the churches of Zurich, Winterthur and Lausanne. Last weekend I had the privilege of speaking to them at the 'Swiss Connection'. It is inspiring to hear their God-stories and encourage them to fulfill their dreams.

In between preaching and teaching seminars, there has been plenty of opportunities to enjoy one of my favourite countries in the world... We have walked the cobbled streets of Berne, explored the Emmental countryside and eaten copious amounts of cheese fondue. The Autumn colours are dazzling.

A highlight was our trip to the mountains. Our home for three days was a country chalet nestled in a deep valley with cows grazing at our doorstep. Unfortunately during our stay the cable cars were closed and our amble on the peaks turned into a 6 hour mountain hike. But the aching muscles were worth it for the views.

Handy Tip: Do not go hiking in the Swiss Alps on the day you are preaching - and - always smile sweetly at passing farm tractors...

My first overseas ministry trip ends this weekend after speaking in one of the 'state' churches and a Bible College in Zurich. As God promised it has been a gift and I haved loved every minute of it!

A Pinch of Reality

Have you ever had a promise from God that looks like it will never come to pass? Perhaps you have seen it in a vision or heard it in a prophecy. Or maybe it's a deep desire conceived in a moment of insight.

For the last 15 years I have carried around a little suitcase bulging with exciting promises from God. But through the course of time those divinely inspired words have been threatened, attacked and stolen… There have been times when I have sat alone at night wondering if God really had the power to fulfill them.

This week I began to see my promises turn from inspired words into stunning reality. I am pinching myself. After years of prolonged waiting, is this really happening?

Hong Kong is a bustling international city strategically placed as a gateway into China. For two days I had the privilege of spending time with Pastors John and Sandra from the Vine Church. I trekked through the legoland of highrisers in the CBD, learnt about the city's people and history over a meal of minced pigeon and watched a spectacular display of fireworks across HK Harbour for Chinese National Day. It was one of those very special divine appointments!

From the steamy bustle of Asia I arrived at pristine Zurich airport where Freimut Haverkamp was waiting in the early morning with a welcome Starbucks coffee in his hand… He and his wife Jo lead an amazing church in Konstanz, Germany. It was so wonderful to witness the miracle of God's favour on a church planted from scratch by two of our College graduates. Lakeside Church has the fingerprints of destiny all over it to be a nation changer.

There were lots of inspiring God-chats while driving through the fairytale countryside, eating Black forest cake in the Black forest (it’s only proper) and exploring the historic old city of Konstanz where the legendary pre-former Jan Hus was burned at the stake for his teaching.

But the highlight was teaching a dreams seminar on Sunday evening to a packed church. I had the chance to briefly practise my High School German and then there was lots of self talk; “Speak s-l-o-w-l-y” (how does a woman do that?) as I was being translated for the first time. It is the ultimate privilege to inspire people to a more intimate walk with God and help them understand what God is saying to them.

Yes it is real isn't it? God, you really do what you say…

It is worth the long wait. Keep carrying your promises. God is not a man that he lie. What he has spoken, he will do!

Dream Come True

I was 17 years old when I first visited Switzerland. There was something about that country of towering peaks and sweeping valleys that captured my imagination like no other place I have visited.

Since then Switzerland has become a source of inspiration and sort of a symbol of my life dreams. So it is sweet poetic irony that I am leaving for Switzerland tomorrow! But then again, is it surprising that the God who is the Giver of our deepest desires should choose Switzerland to be the destination for my first overseas ministry trip? He loves to give us exactly what we long for!

I will be overseas for 3 and a half weeks, visiting a church in Hong Kong, then onto Switzerland with a couple of side trips across the border to Germany. During that time, I will be preaching and teaching in churches through my ministry Awaken Your Dreams. I will also be spending some time in the mountains writing!

I know that my trip is God-ordained - sort of a meeting with destiny. Though you may think I may not need it in a place like Switzerland, I would love your prayers for ministry effectiveness and for God's purposes to be fulfilled! While I am away I will be updating my blog as well (my latest technological feat). To subscribe you can click on the Subscribe to: Posts (Atom) button below. (For those techno novices, once you subscribe to a blog with your email address, it cleverly feeds blog entries into your inbox whenever there is an update!)

Thanks so much for your friendship and support!